It was a wet and miserable afternoon and I was sat at home watching movies when I heard a knock at the door. It threw me a little as I wasn’t expecting anyone, but when I opened the front door I was delighted to be greeted by the postman with a rather large box. Instantly I knew this was a box of sex toys, and I racked my brains to think what it might be… upon tearing off the tape I was thrilled to be face to face with 7 – yes 7 Satisfyer vibrators!! Thank you so much to the ever-generous team for sending these to me in exchange for my honest reviews.
I’ve decided to review all 7 products in one feature-length review, so brace yourselves as I take you on a journey through the Seven Deadly Sins (ft. Satisfyer!)
It’s worth noting at this point that all of this range are suitable for anal play due to the loop handles. Although I’m not sure I’d use the rabbits in this way as it might be anatomically challenging! And the larger vibrators might make your eyes water.
All of the vibrators have 6 constant speeds and 6 patterns so lots of choice. The constants tend to interest me more and I’m delighted to see that there are 6 of them in each of the toys. The lower ranges definitely feel more rumbly, with some of the faster speeds being buzzy. My preference is for deep vibrations but I do also enjoy the buzzier ones out there on occasion. Having a decent range of 6 speeds and 6 patterns means there should be a vibration and speed to suit everyone. The different Satisfyer toys do transmit the vibrations differently however, due to the shape and size, so they don’t all feel exactly the same.
“To have an intense desire or need: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28)
The Satisfyer vibrator I lusted after the most is the Magic Bunny; this is the one I couldn’t wait to get my hands on when I looked at them all inside their boxes as I do love a bunny vibe! It’s made of really soft squishy silicone but has a very firm inner in the shaft. It’s so powerful! I actually like the shaft on my clit as well as the rabbit’s arm. Inside me it trembles away with the deepest of vibrations. Loads of flex in the chunky arm. The shaft is also thick and solid, a real handful. The silicone is quite grabby which can be pleasurable in itself, however it’s more comfortable with a generous dollop of water-based lube rubbed into the shaft.
The vibrations transmit better in the shaft and feel somewhat stronger than in the clit arm.
Don’t be fooled by the name – this is no cutesy bunny; its thick, heavy, solid silicone shaft packs a hell of a punch. The clit arm delivers broad stimulation to your love button and can be manoeuvred easily into the right position. It’s not as long as some of the other Satisfyer Vibes models which is great if you (like me) aren’t a fan of deep penetration.
Where to buy
Buy the Magic Bunny from Satisfyer for £44.95*!
“Excess in eating and drinking: “for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags” (Proverbs 23:21)
Ah, gluttony, my friend. Something I know all too well! When it comes to Satisfyer sex toys, the Charming Smile is something I have used to excess. And that’s because, for me, it’s perfect – the right size, shape, pretty colour and the vibrations feel deeper than some of the others. I don’t think the motor is different to any of the others, but the vibrations certainly transmit better – this may be because of the short shaft; the motor sits in the centre of the shaft so it doesn’t have so far to travel.
The angle of this is great for g-spot play. It rumbles away inside of me and hits the spot to perfection. I also love holding this chunky little monkey against my clit sideways and letting the thick shaft shake away my stress. The tip is a little curved so gives a bit more pinpoint pressure if you want it. As the vibrations feel stronger in this, I only need to use the lowest 3 settings – the rest are too powerful!
An added bonus of this shape is that the base is curved outwards which, if you angle it correctly, can rub against your clit.
I really like the Charming Smile and it’s gentle proportions, angled head and wlide base. This is one vibrator that is proudly sat in my ‘favourite toy box’ and is certain to remain there!
Where to buy
Buy the Charming Smile from The Sex Superstore for £40.49*!
“Excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness: “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more” (Ephesians 4:19)
The Master is certainly a vibrator for the greedy! Look at the size of it! It’s a large, thick and long vibrator. The shape of the head is realistic but this isn’t a fully realistic vibrator as there is no vein detailing. You can see the seam in the silicone on both the top and bottom of the shaft but it’s barely noticeable. I’m unsure what Satisfyer have done with the colour of this one; is this meant to be ‘skin coloured’? All the other toys have a brighter colour and this one is definitely muted, but whether it’s trying to be skin coloured (depending on your skin tone!) or not, I’m not totally sure.
It’s a weighty vibrator without feeling intimidatingly heavy. The size put me off a bit at first, but with plenty of water-based lube and some patience I managed to insert it. I prefer not to thrust too much with The Master as it’s so big, it feels nicer to just sit inside me rumbling away.
The shaft feels firmer than the other Satisfyer Vibes toys and this makes the toy feel even bigger once inside. There is a very slight angle to the shaft so it does reach my g-spot if I don’t push it all the way in.
My personal preference is for slightly smaller toys so I don’t think I’ll use The Master unless I’m feeling adventurous but I certainly would recommend it for people who enjoy big dildos.
Another way this toy feels nice is to not actually insert it, nor use it directly on your clit but just hold it against your vulva through your underwear. It’s such a big, firm shaft it feels super nice like this! It also feels great against my clit and despite being a bit heavy, it doesn’t make my arm ache when holding onto it.
Where to buy
Buy the Satisfyer Master from Bondara costing £44.99!*
“Disinclined to activity or exertion: not energetic or vigorous: “The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway” (Proverbs 15:19)
For those who enjoy a lazy session, I would recommend Mister Rabbit. Mister Rabbit is a little shorter in the shaft, very tapered and slim with a gentle curve at the tip of the shaft for g-spot or p-spot play. He’s a lovely vibrant red shade. I particularly like the clit ‘finger’ (albeit it’s more like a thumb!), it feels so soft! The only downside I can think of with this toy is that it occasionally slides out when thrusting when as the shaft is slimmer and shorter than on the other models. The best way to avoid this is simply not to thrust with it, and just hold it in place! That way you get an easy, lazy orgasm (hence this model suits the sin ‘Sloth’). The shaft has a bit of flex to it and the silicone feels soft and smooth.
For me, this toy provided a great fit for my body as I dislike deeper penetration but I love rabbits and dual stimulation. It reaches my g-spot comfortably with the clit finger nuzzling away against my clit. Everyone’s anatomy is different, but this works really well for me!
The soft silicone feels glorious against my most sensitive spots and with the Master Rabbit, I can just lay back and enjoy the ride!
Where to buy
Buy Mr Rabbit from The Sex Toy Superstore for £40.49*!
“Strong vengeful anger or indignation: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1)
So which of the Satisfyer vibrators makes me feel wrath? I’m sorry to say it’s the Power Flower! What is annoying about it? Well, let’s start with the positives: it’s a gorgeous, bright red colour which looks striking in contrast with the white handle. It’s silky smooth and has a gorgeously curved shaft ending in an attractive open flower bud design. Like the other Satisfyer Vibes models it has 6 speed settings, which is great for edging fans, and 6 patterns. Vibrations are deep and powerful.
This should be a wonderful vibrator as it’s ticked all the boxes so far. But I can’t orgasm with it! I hold it on top of my clit and it hurts, even on the most gentle setting. I hold it sideways and I can’t feel the ‘flapping’ motion, and it just feels meh. If I push it down the side of my clit and hold it firmly in place then it feels ok, but by this point I’m frustrated and reaching for a different one.
I’ve really tried to like this as I normally like a tongue-like vibrator, but the petals are too big and just whack me in the clit which is uncomfortable and a bit painful. I can’t manoeuvre this into a position where it doesn’t feel annoying! Aargh!
That said, it will definitely suit some people. It’s all about what floats your boat and what suits your anatomy!
Where to buy
Buy the Power Flower from Satisfyer for £44.95*!
“Painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage: “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:1-2)
If you want to be the envy of your friends, I would suggest getting your hands on your very own adorable Petting Hippo vibrator!! I can honestly say this is the only hippo vibrator I own. It’s gorgeous! I actually love this design; the large, soft hippo’s nose is not only adorable to look at but feels lovely and soft against my clit. It cushions my clit, like it’s giving it a bit hug! The vibrations transfer pretty well and stimulate a large area – great if you like broad stimulation. Marketed as a g-spot vibrator, I wasn’t sure if it would feel comfortable as the head is quite large, but it slips inside well when lubed up and the slightly curved shaft helps the head to aim for my g-spot. It feels great internally as the shaft has enough girth to make me feel full but I can move it in and out if I choose.
The silicone is really soft but has a big of grip so it drags a bit, which I quite like! Although I enjoy using it internally, my preference is external as it is just so soft and lovely.
The lower speeds feel lovely and rumbly although they don’t feel as strong as with some of the other Satisfyer Vibes models. I love to use the lowest, most rumbly speed and let the hippo’s nose nestle against my clit. As with the others, this has 6 constant speeds and 6 patterns. The hippo looks so cute when he’s shivering with the patterns but I personally just love its constant speeds.
Where to buy
Buy the Petting Hippo from the Sex Superstore for £40.49*, use affiliate where poss if you can find any?
“Quality or state of being proud – inordinate self-esteem: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18)
So which model do I feel Satisfyer should be most proud of? The Yummy Sunshine. This one is big! It’s a lush summery colour. The silicone feels really smooth but has a slight drag if you don’t use lube (which feels quite nice!). It has a gentle rippled effect, most prominent around the base, which is angled to provide friction against your clit whilst the shaft is inside you. It feels quite flexible in the shaft and has a great girth, filling enough without being painful! The shaft is gently curved for g-spot or p-spot play.
I love the texture of this vibrator; I enjoy light ripples which are pleasantly satisfying without being painful. The shaft has enough flex to feel soft upon insertion and the gentle curve is great for pressing up against your g-spot. I also enjoy using this for clit play as the head has different shapes to play with; use the very tip if you want your clit pressure to be pinpoint, or use the flatter bit underneath the tip for a broader sensation.
The Yummy Sunshine felt a bit too big for me internally and it went in too deep. I know what you’re thinking – just shallow thrust instead! But in order for the ridges to reach my clit, I have to push the Yummy Sunshine in quite far which isn’t so comfortable for me. It is, however, going to fit other people as we’re all different shapes and sizes, and the beauty of the ridges around the clit is that you can use any of them; push it in further and the lower ridges will massage your clit, or pull it out a bit for the higher ridges to do their thing. Although my preference is for a shorter shaft, I think this design will appeal to lots of different body sizes.
Where to buy
Buy the Yummy Sunshine from Satisfyer for £44.95*!
I hope you have enjoyed journeying with me through the Satisfyer Seven Deadly Sins!
Other Satisfyer Reviews
If you have enjoyed this review, why not check out some of my other reviews for Satisfyer including the Satisfyer Rabbit, Satisfyer Men, Satisfyer Pro Penguin, Satisfyer Pret-a-Porter, Satisfyer High Fashion.
*Prices were correct at the time of publishing.
I was sent these products in exchange for my honest review. Some affiliate links have been included in this post. If you click on a link and make a purchase, I make a small commission which contributes to the purchase of more products to review, but it doesn’t cost you any extra. Thank you for your support!